Phoenix Without Fire – Re-write
I will dream it first,
not me, but still me.
I will shed my skin
wiggle, slip, kick, and it’s gone
as I slide away.
I will rise again,
stretch newly fledged wings, and fly.
Phoenix without fire.
I took the original poem “Phoenix Without Fire” to our writing group and received some very helpful suggestions. The most obvious was that if it was ‘without fire’ where did the ‘ash’ in the last stanza come from. Lol.
I’ve done a rewrite incorporating this input (you’ll see the first and second stanza have traded places too). I think it’s really important to our growth as writers to be open to constructive suggestions offered by people we trust (that’s my writing group 🙂 )